Once Upon A Twitter Crush – A TC’s Life

Once upon a time, in the fairyland of Twittervania, lived a people who fondest wish was to escape their humdrum existence and reach out into the wild world of love and romance. They skipped. They frolicked. And sometimes they have scampered. In this wide world of Twittervania, all manner of folks existed. Some good ones. Some bad ones. And then there were the in-between ones, where you couldn’t quite tell. And every now and then, the nice guy. Or as the people of Twittervania used to call them, the reply guys. But every once in awhile, there would be someone who stood out to these people. They practically fell “in like” with them. They were called TCs, or in the parlance of Twittervania, a Twitter Crush.

Once Upon A Twitter Crush – A TC’s Life

Once Upon A Twitter Crush - A TC's Life

With this in mind and several Twitter-related blog posts in the rear-view mirror, the Guide decided to do a deep dive into the expose of the Twitter Crush. Who were they? What did they mean to people? Could you have multiple Twitter Crushes at once? If you flirted with someone, did they fall into the Category of Twitter Crush? Or was there something more substantive?

Of course, being an adopted son of Twittervania for the past several months, I had my own opinions about the topic. But I could be wrong. So, I wanted to interview, ask questions, and further deepen my understanding of the role of TCs in Twitter. Are they a good thing or a bad thing? Do they represent the end of humanity or merely a diversion from everyday life?

I needed answers. Because I didn’t just want to wait and hope for people sliding into my DMs (Direct Messages (another term for private messages which existed in some other social media platforms) to surreptitiously tell me about their own experience with Twitter Crushes. Because I was impatient, or just bored, I decided to use one of the things I rarely used in the Twitter Universe: polls.

Polls existed for the people of Twitter to ask people questions and allow them to answer anonymously, without having to feel like they were recommending the question, or their own personal response. Hopefully, this meant people would answer these questions honestly. But whether a person can be fully honest in the land of Twittervania or not is a debate that rages on throughout the land. For in a land where you don’t have to show your face or admit to who you are, you can say or do anything.

What Is A Twitter Crush?

The first thing you must do to understand this world of the TC is to understand what people think TCs are. I asked a question about what people thought TCs were and the vast majority of the people thoughts TCs were someone to flirt with. This does make a lot of sense as Twittervania does have a lot of flirting going on between people. In fact, flirting occurs so often, I often question myself about whether what I’m doing is flirting any more. Or whether the whole universe of flirting changed directly because of Twitter.

With 87 percent of the people saying TCs were just to flirt with, it definitely gave me an opinion about what people thought they were for. The other 13 percent felt like TCs were people to sleep with and no more. So we can definitely see that with this question people thoughts TCs were not something or someone to get serious about. What serious means to people can vary a great deal. But I admit I didn’t think Twitter would be so prudish. Nevertheless, zero percent of people thought they were people to take home with them. And zero percent of the people thought there was someone to have a relationship with. It’s possible this poll needed to go longer. But I have a sneaking suspicion those numbers wouldn’t change a great deal.

If Only To Flirt, Why Can You Have Only One?

Once Upon A Twitter Crush - A TC's Life

This leads me to the next question. How many TCs was acceptable to have at the same time. This poll shocked me a little bit. While at the same time revealed similar sentiments. The poll answers I put out of the poll were 0, 1, 2-5, and as many as you want. I don’t feel it’s much of a shock to people that “As many as you want” was the winning answer. It’s probably the answer which takes the whole idea of the TC the least serious. But the other answers revealed something about the people involved. What I found more interesting were the percentages on a few more of the answers.

Zero came in at a few percent of people. Its final survey came in at around 5 percent of the people answering. I’m not arguing with the rightness or wrongness of their answer. But it does reveal something about these people. Some people feel like one should never have a Twitter Crush on Twitter. I’m guessing these are the same people who do not believe in online dating which is the most prevalent way of meeting people nowadays. Or they just feel Twitter is not the right platform with which to meet people. But realize this is the exception and not the rule on Twitter if only 1 in 20 people felt this to be the case.

Two to five TC’s is a whole other answer I was more curious about. This came in at around 8 percent. So these people were not so serious about a TC to feel like only having one Twitter Crush was a necessity. At the same time, they didn’t feel like being a TC player was an appropriate way to be either. I’m not sure why a person would be ok with more than one but would insist on a few amount exactly.

I suppose it could just be a time crunch issue. How could you possibly flirt with more than a few people? I am not sure they understand reply guys well enough if they think that. But that’s a whole other story. What it reveals is a lack of seriousness about TCs but they still have some kind of ethic with regards to TCs. Curiouser and curiouser if you ask me.

Which brings us to the last area of contention with the TC. The thirty-plus percent of people who felt having only one Twitter Crush was the most permissible. The interesting thing is I ran this poll twice. I didn’t feel like I gave it long enough. But the first time the number one and as many as you want were nearly tied. I wanted to poll some more to get a final answer. So coming in at approximately one-third of respondents, people felt only one TC was permissible at a time.

Are We A Bunch Of Hypocrites?

But this leads me to think about the people answering the first question. How could people be against people flirting with more than one person at a time when they didn’t take the whole idea of being a TC in the first place seriously. I’m not sure one can take anything fully seriously on the net. To be honest, I have a rule not to take anything too seriously, even intense words spoken until I meet someone in person. Not because I don’t have feelings or mean to make someone else feel bad about having intense feelings. But until I spend time with someone in person, the only thing I have fallen for is my own fantasy of a person. Not the real soul.

So why be upset about people having more than one TC? Why just one? To me, it seems counterintuitive to the seriousness of the endeavor. This leads me to one inescapable conclusion. Despite not thinking people should take TCs seriously, many people still have their feelings on the line when it comes to a TC. They put themselves out there and hope that when someone does it to them in return that it’s just to them and not to everyone else out there.

TC?  Have Fun, Will Travel

Once Upon A Twitter Crush - A TC's Life

Which lead me to the next question I polled people on when it came to TCs. I asked how far would they be willing to travel to meet a TC. It was nice I did get some comments and DMs with which to peruse through about this question. And so, I will leave out their names to protect the innocent. This question just confirmed people seem to have very conflicting opinions about the TC in general. I suppose I could have asked if they weren’t willing to meet them at all. Because for those 86 percent of people who just found having a TC was about flirting and nothing else.

Because when it came down to the distance traveled, 36 percent of people responded to the same Universe. Which means I’m guessing people aren’t going to Pluto or some faraway galaxy to find their TC. On the other hand, they would be willing to travel anywhere on the planet by that measure. If TCs weren’t that big of a deal, I cannot imagine people being willing to travel too far to meet them.  Another 34 percent were willing to meet them in the same country. Which might not be a big deal in Belgium, but in the U.S. or Brazil, that would be quite a distance. Hence, between the two a full 70 percent of respondents were willing to travel quite a distance to meet a person it was only worth flirting with. It makes me question how people responded previously.

TC? Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The last question I posed to the people on Twitter was how would you let you know your TC was actually your TC. The possible answers were Hint, which came in at 20%, Tell them, which came in at 30 percent, Choose your own adventure, at 40%, and in last place, Never tell at 10%. Obviously that 40 percent came and not many people told me what that meant. What I believe is that answer divided people into two categories. One, those who didn’t want to be boxed in by any one method. And two, those who had more inventive ways of letting them know by sliding into DMs or some other method.

Regardless, the fact that only 10 percent of respondents said they will never tell lets you know that more people consider a TC to be more important than just a mild flirtation. With these 10 percent either being reticent to tell someone because of shyness, lack of feeling the need, or some other reason, it seems to suggest we care enough about a TC to let them know in some way. Now what that method is could be personality dependent or how much importance you place on your TC. But suffice it to say, we seem to have some reason to feel like a TC investment is worth something to us.

Ultimately, Is Having A Twitter Crush A Good Thing?

Once Upon A Twitter Crush - A TC's Life

And after all this TC talk, delving into the minds of the greater Twitter Universe, I found myself right at the very beginning. Is a TC a good thing or a bad thing? Diversion or the new way of deepening relationships? And the answer I came up with is both. Good and Bad. Diversion and new method. But to explain that I need to explain what I think all this polling really did tell me.

This polling told me people come into this new universe of Twitter cautious and hopeful. Whether being burned a million times or just rightly cautious of getting involved with people you don’t really know, people are double-minded when it comes to this interesting set of likes for the new universe. We know that we cannot take someone seriously up until the moment we can. I think some people try to take people seriously too fast. I’m sure I have been guilty of this. And then things get revealed over time and you realize you didn’t really know the person.

At the same time, we are all hopeful of finding a connection out there. And on Twitter, we have found a universe of people who are more willing to let things all hang out there. It’s not like the curated universe of the dating site. We aren’t as worried that about someone trying to just say what you want to hear. Some do I suppose. But you figure that out right away. And you can see the messages they are sending out to everyone. So, you know who they are. People on Twitter reveal who they are. Eventually. That doesn’t mean you know them fully. Because most people hold back something. So you get real. And as such, a TC has the potential to be something real. No matter how unseriously you take them to start.

Hence people are both cautious and curious about the potential a TC could be. They might never meet. Then again… For the right one, anything is possible.

TC, All Things To All People

Thus, TCs are both bad and good. A bad thing because they are people we don’t know who we leave ourselves vulnerable to, sometimes airing out our dirty laundry. And they can be dangerous when we don’t put them in their proper place. Because when we invest in these people too quickly and too heavily, we are bound to be burned more often than not. At the same time, you have a great opportunity to get to know this person fully and fairly over a longer time than you might in a dating app. And that, if you don’t over-romanticize them, can be a good thing indeed. Whether that’s possible is for another post to argue.

Can they be a diversion? Sure. Many of us right now have needed a good diversion on the day of COVID. The problem with merely taking things as a diversion with a bunch of people you don’t know is that they might not think of things the same way you do. Which means one or both of you may wind up hurt. Can they be a great new way of connecting with people? Also, yes. Because we have this new method of communication.

But as with all new methods of communication, we must understand its shortcomings as well as its bonuses. As with all method of communication which does not involve human to human contact, you cannot read the body language of the individual. This means it’s subject to interpretation no matter how effectively the CAPS LOCK, symbol keys, and emojis are used. It’s missing a vital element. Which means you need to realize something is missing.

As such, in the world of Twitter, the TC must be taken seriously, and at the same time . . . not. It’s not something to be trifled with. And as long as you and your TC are on the same page it can be something fun. And if you are lucky, turn into something a bit more serious. Even if you just turn into serious friends at the end of everything. And as Twitter is all about relationship building, what could be better than that?

Wrapping Up Once Upon A Twitter Crush – The TCs Life

While I have delved into the nature of what people view a Twitter Crush is, I do not feel like I have done the subject a full bit of justice. I don’t know if it’s because I would like a larger poll. After all, I didn’t get the kind of response I would get in a presidential poll. As such, it can’t exactly be representative of the subject as a whole. Or whether I just didn’t dig deeply enough into the whole topic and I feel like there is so much more there to unearth.

Given the heartache and pain, it seems to produce as well as the immeasurable joy it does produce at times, I just want more. I don’t know whether this makes me an addict or not. At the same time, I feel like it would be a good story. So I’m putting this out there. I would love to get 5 people to answer questions about Twitter Crushes in general. Of course, you have to have had one to be included in this Q&A. So shoot me an email in the Contact Me section, or you can leave me a DM on Twitter @Toastycritic and I will get back to you with a list of questions I will want you to answer. Maybe then we will fully get to the bottom of the TC, and I can finally have my happily ever after in Twittervania. At least . . . that’s my hope.

 

Taking On Once Upon A Twitter Crush – The TCs Life

What aspect of the TC do you identify with here? Would you want to know more? Would you be interested in participating in a survey? Do you believe it’s safe to have a TC? Would you personally ever meet one? If you have met one, what happened? Would you meet one again? And finally, what do you think the proper role of Twitter should be?

If you liked this post, please be sure to check out some of our other Twitter posts. Then click the like button and leave us a note in the comments. Then share with some of your friends via social media. Twitter, Facebook, or whatever works for you. Finally, follow us here at the Guide to get the latest social media, parenting, satire, food, fitness, and lifestyle posts. Thank you for stopping by.

Until next time, this is me signing off.

David Elliott, The Single Dad’s Guide to Life

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