Hi, and welcome to the next to the last day of our Perspectives Series this year at the Single Dad’s Guide to Life.  Thank you so much for coming by this month.  It’s been a blast working with Brandi, even if I thought some nights I was going to collapse into exhaustion.  Or other nights hallucinations took over and I saw visions of sugar plums stuck in my head.  Oh, wait.  I mixed it up with the Night Before Christmas.  This was our last creative post done together for this series, aside from the interviews we will be putting out tomorrow.  Definitely, make sure to come back tomorrow and catch the interview with Brandi. Find out more about what inspires her and makes her the amazingly talented writer she is.  But today we are going to talk about love.  Not any kind of love.  We will discuss one of the most difficult loves there is: Self-Love.

It’s very easy to have feelings about other people but to be so self-critical.  We may place some value on our person, and yet still be upset by all of the small flaws we envision we have.  And beyond that, all of our failures we seem to hyper-magnify.  Why do we do this?  What makes us want to tear our own person down a notch?

What’s even worse, as a single parent, we have a harder time with self-love.  While we absolutely adore our children, we realize they also represent the failed relationship of our past.  And far too frequently this guilt leads us to give everything to our children and doing nothing to help us rebuild the broken people we have become.  And this rebuild takes time and energy, of which we have limited amounts.

Brandi and I figured as we were heading into the “month of love,” we should include ourselves in this month.  We need to remember to be kind to ourselves if we are going to be able to have the strength to give our children the proper guidance and love which they deserve.  It’s not unlike the man who is told the best way to love his children is to love their mother unconditionally and unreservedly.  It seems strange at first.  But in your love for your spouse, you become a role model for what proper love should look like.  And in that way, your children will feel loved, and be able to love others in return.  As a single parent, our kids need to be able to know we can love ourselves and take proper care of ourselves if they are going to be able to survive themselves.  They need to know we are alright in order for them to feel alright.

So with this month of February, we are coming up with 28 self-love ideas each.  I imagine she will have ideas more directed towards women and single moms while mine will be directed towards men and single fathers.  Although some may work well for either.  And ultimately, everyone is an individual.  What is self-love for me might be torture for you. (Please don’t make me watch Beaches.  PLEASE!!!)  Whatever the case may be, check out the 28 things I will be doing in the month of February to promote self-love.

28 Things To Do In February To Promote Self-Love

  1.  Go to one restaurant I have never been to before.

  2. Try Lobster Thermidor  (It’s on my Vision Board so I should.)


  1. Go to the gym three times a week this month.

  2. Get a nice new haircut.

  3. Go on an all-day hike.



  1. Go to one movie by myself and splurge on food and drinks while there.

  2. Visit one museum this month.

  3. Go somewhere I can go out and see the stars at night.


  1. Take a road trip somewhere which takes two hours or more to get there.

  2. Do something kind for someone else.

  3. Take my daughter to a preseason baseball game.


  1. Make a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup and eat it.

  2. Purchase a piece of classical music to listen to at home.

  3. Do stuff to minimize the things in my room.


  1. Help my daughter minimize the items in her room.

  2. Purchase a new bed.

  3. Purchase a nice digital camera to improve my picture taking for my blog.


  1. Go out on a hike with the camera and catch some nature shots.

  2. Get my daughter new furniture for her room.

  3. Spend some time talking to my dad.


  1. Arrange a family outing with my brother, his family, my parents, my daughter and myself.

  2. BBQ at least one time this month.

  3. Go to see a musical at the theater.


  1. Buy at least one new outfit.

  2. Purchase a new pair of shoes.

  3. Spend a few hours a week reading.


  1. Spend one day a week sleeping in til 10 AM.

  2. Write one new poem this month.

Continue The Conversation

I have to admit, some of these self love things aren’t exactly about myself but about helping others.  But sometimes, when we help others, we ultimately help ourselves, if that makes any sense.  If I change the furniture in my daughters room and minimize the clutter, it will make it easier for me to deal with her room in the future.  Or when I volunteer to help others, I help others feel better, which in turn makes me feel better.  So as it may seem counterintuitive, it’s really about things I do which will help me love myself a little more.

What things do you like to do to take care of yourself?  Whether it be a spa day, laying in bed til noon or going out to a wildly expensive restauarant, I would love to hear the things which make you feel good about yourself?  And what are you going to do this month in order for your to show love to yourself?  Valentine’s Day is this month, so you better show yourself some love.  Although Valetines Day will happen on Ash Wednesday this year.  I am curious what the restaurants will look like on that day.  It should be interesting.  (And Easter is on April Fool’s Day.  It feels like the makings of a strange year.)

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If you liked this post, please be sure to like it on the end whether here, in facebook or on social media somewhere.  And definitely follow me here at the Guide if you want to keep up with the interesting happenings throughout the month.  Thank you for stopping by.

Until next time, this is me signing off.

David Elliott, Single Dad’s Guide to Life