Good morning, and welcome to the Single Dad’s Guide to Life.  For the month of January, if you haven’t been made aware yet, I am partnering with Brandi Kennedy of Brandi Kennedy, Love Stories and Lifestyle for the Undaunted Woman.  We are working together doing things from a single father’s and a single mother’s perspective.  But we still wanted to keep up with the series that were important to our own blogs.  For those of you familiar with my blog, you will know I do food holidays with my fake food history.

And so we are continuing with that theme.  I will be focusing on the fake fook history while Brandi will be covering various recipes that can be put to good use.  So when looking in advance about the great food offerings available to do for food holidays, we thought that one definitely stood out.  We couldn’t help but celebrate National Whipped Cream Day, January 5th.

As for my own experience, as it comes to whipped cream, I don’t know I have a good story when it comes to whipped cream.  I know I have always loved whipped cream.  And I have used whipped cream or variants on all kinds of recipes, including my recipe for the eclairs I have made every Christmas.  As for my daughter, she loves whipped cream and always has.  In fact, I don’t think I have ever had any dessert with whipped cream on it where my daughter hasn’t stared longingly at it imploring me to give it to her.  In fact, aside from my eclairs, I cannot remember the last time I was able to keep my whipped cream.  Hmmmm . . .

But as everyone who knows my food holidays series can attest, a good Food Holiday would never be complete without a good fake food history.  Making sure I have an accurate fake food history is very important to the Guide.  So whether this means digging into the depths of the vast deep web to discover the secret fake truth of our favorite foods, or whether it means spending vast sums of money charging up our Wayback machine to travel in time to the glorious fake past, the Guide will spare no expense.   So welcome to another of our glorious fake food histories as we discover the truth behind whipped cream.

A Fake History Of Whipped Cream

To find the fake food history of whipped cream we have to go back to the 15th Century England.  As we tell the tale of Fouette Cream and his strange obsession with Chickens.  In the days after the Knights of the Round Table and ten years before the birth of Shakespeare, there was a man named Fouette Cream who believed that chickens were the key to avoiding any future black plague.  He seemed to think that the yolks of the chickens would ward off the fleas who spread the black plague.  He had taken to putting it into stews and soups.  But that didn’t seem to ward away the fleas like he would have liked.

Fouette started with a good garlic soup and used a couple of eggs to thicken it with.  But all that did is cause these strange men who ran around with pointy teeth and Transylvanian accents to run away from him.  He told himself he would have to remember about the garlic later.  Then he moved onto thickening up the beef stews with the eggs yolks. Fouette tried feeding it to his dogs to see if they would have fewer fleas because of them.  Unfortunately, there were no noticeable differences between the fleas before and after.

So Fouette cream decided he needed to get more drastic and tried cooking actual chickens and putting them into various different dishes to see if he could ward off those awful fleas.  First, he tried throwing in chickens with some lettuce and a strange creamy sauce he made out of these funny looking little fish.  This effectively warded himself away from women who didn’t like the stench of the sauce.  It did not matter how much parmesan cheese he added, it didn’t seem to keep the fleas away.

So then he took to putting chicken and cheese onto a crazy flatbread with a tomato sauce base on it.  It did become so popular in England it became a competition to this strange other flatbread that some strange people in Italy were making with some strange meat called pepperoni.  Unfortunately, this did not seem to affect the number of fleas roaming around the places he served.

He thought about trying to use the eggshells like the garlic, keeping those Transylvanian people with pointy teeth away from the area.  But the eggshells tended to break and get crushed everywhere.  He was about to give up when he saw the clear liquid set aside in bowls on a table.  And above the table sat a shelf with flour, sugar, and rosewater.  Unfortunately for Fouette the rosewater and sugar were precariously placed on the shelf above by his apprentice chef, and they came crashing down into the clear egg liquid.

Fouette would never let anything go to waste so he started to whip the egg liquid.  Before long, it whipped up into a nice frothy foam that was sweet to the taste.  After trying the foam out he knew he thought it would go excellently with the bread pudding.  So he decided to serve it to his lord for his next dinner party.  At first, the lord didn’t know what to think.  He thought it was a funny looking foam over his bread pudding.  He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or put his chef out on the stockade.

After much thought, he figured he would give this strange creamy white substance a try along with the bread pudding that he so loved.  And the moment it touched his tongue, magic rainbows shot out of his mouth.  And a unicorn appeared before him telling him not to murder Fouette.  Ok, maybe it wasn’t quite like that.  Maybe magic rainbows and unicorns didn’t happen.  But the Liege Lord immediately changed his mind and demanded he be given more of the crazy cream fouette he was given on top of the bread pudding.  And so whipped cream was born.

Soon it would spread across the continent to France.  They would naturally add more sugar to it and call it something else entirely.  The French had a crazier name with all the frills of any good French dish.  They came to call it Creme Chantilly, after some crazy French guy named Chantilly.  But that’s a whole other story and might have to deal with some lace of some kind.

So that’s where we will leave you with the tale of Fouette and his crazy whipped cream made out of egg whites, sugar, and rose water.  And whatever you may think of the Liege Lord, please don’t feel like you have to tell anyone else about the unicorns and magic rainbows.  They might think you are crazy.

Continue The Conversation

It’s at this point the Guide usually gives you a recipe or a top five listing of food places.  But as I am partnering this month on all posts, please be sure to check out Brandi’s post for the best recipes to add whipped cream.  There are all kinds of things to add whipped cream to, and she will show you some good ones.  Aside from that, what did you think of the history behind whipped cream?  And what are some of your favorite things you like whipped cream on?

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Until next time, this is me signing off.

David Elliott, Single Dad’s Guide to Life