It’s Me Again – Ignore the Robert DeNiro Goodfellas Hairstyle

It’s Friday once again. And as is my Friday promise, I am discussing with you my fitness progress in the past week. And to be honest my mind feels like it’s in a big fog right at the moment. I’ve had so many things going for the past week that it’s been hard to keep track of it all. From a day where I went to Downtown Disney and ran around before ending up at Knott’s with my daughter, to making sure I had everything situated for a grant program I had running at my work and praying that the guest speaker showed up, I have been on the go the whole time. I wish I could say that everything went down smoothly. But I suppose that with all of the chaos going on, I can be happy that I am actually breathing at the end of the week.


It’s always nice to say that you are actually breathing. Because when you can’t say that you are actually breathing . . . I guess you aren’t saying much of anything at that point. Either way it’s been a crazy week. I have been bothered by a few things but I will get back to that for another blog post later on.


So moving right along . . . This is my fitness boo yeah blog! Wait…. not so much. This is my “it’s been a week and a half since I have been at the gym and so now I had to drag my lazy butt back there or I would find my butt glued to the seat” blog. This is the blog that recounts all of my silliness, including at the gym.


So last week I was vividly recounting all the details of doing absolutely nothing, because writers have to be good at telling nothing and telling it well. I ended up saying that I would use the previous weeks list because I wouldn’t recreate the wheel or light a match and say I invented fire or something. And I did have a great plan a few weeks ago. So did I actually live up to my plans? Well…


I can say with a hundred percent certainty that I still haven’t been to the gym four times in one week. Whether this is to be admired or scorned, I will leave for you to decide. I actually thought I was going to make it this week as I had worked out on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I only had to go on Thursday and it would be my first win for my schedule. And so I was pumped after leaving the gym early on Wednesday figuring that as my work day was later on Thursday that I would make it early in the morning.


Did I make it? Not so much. Because I couldn’t get up early on Thursday for the life of me. My bed had turned into Sirens singing me into the rocks. Who cares if the rocks were made out of memory foam? They were still rocks I tell you. And once I couldn’t get up, I needed to get ready to go to a day long meeting that I couldn’t be late for. So the title to the book on my life on Thursday would have been Sirens to Sandmen: Forces making you do the opposite of what you want, and how you can find inner peace. I think the book title is too long for mass marketing though.


Moving past book titles, and despite the Sirens and the Sandman, or because of them, I didn’t get 4, unless you want to count losing four pounds, or gaining them back again. I never can understand my scale. I’m not sure whether it is there to taunt me or whether it’s there to confuse the heck out of me. Truthfully, what it really comes down to is my body going haywire because of dietary changes when being sick, and still not counting the calories that I keep telling myself I will do.


But counting calories is a pain in the butt. It’s not like an annoying gnat. Although it may be annoying. It’s more like a cheetah chasing you. You can’t slow down for one minute or everything catches up with you. Only I’m sure if I were being chased by a cheetah I would be losing more calories. (I do not advocate cheetah racing and neither do any of my sponsors. Oh right. That means I’m the only one not advocating cheetah racing. Or something)


What I will say for this week, on a positive note, is after taking a week off, I did go back to the gym three times. Yay me! And I also made sure I was slowly increasing my cardio, while still working out a half hour on the weights, every day I did go to the gym. Because while I admired the first guy who ran the Marathon, I didn’t want to reenact the ending of that story. Not even the Lifetime movie channel or Spike TV would pay for my reenactment.


And as for the weights, I am slowly increasing the weights every day I do make it to the gym. So I’m doing crunches at about 160 pounds of pressure right now. I can still see the trimming going on even if the scale is acting like it’s on a roller coaster and it keeps telling me to quit riding him or he will make sure I really get scared the next time I step on him. I guess scales are just more touchy now-a-days. Sheesh! Increased weight training, along with better rotations of working with legs, then arms and finally abs, means that I now have what can almost be classified as a routine. Woah! I may become a gym rat yet. Nah!


So how can I improve this week, aside from breaking my scale into a million pieces? (It would be the equivalent of taking a Prozac. Makes me happy for a time but the effects are sadly temporary, as my wallet would not like me having to replace it later.) I am just going to have to bite the bullet and count those calories. That’s all there is to it. If I want to lose weight, diet has to be involved at this point. Maybe not the starvation diet, but certainly the “maybe I shouldn’t have that piece of chocolate cake for dessert if I don’t want to go do two a days at the gym” diet. Aside from that, I need to increase the time on the elliptical to a half hour and “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep. . . Oh look! A Septepus!”


I will work on that while I hope you are working on your own wins for this week. Is your blog growing? Did you drop 25 pounds and make me the most jealous guy on the face of the earth? Did you make it through your Zumba class without feeling like you were going to have a coronary? Oh right! That’s just my reaction to Zumba. How did week four of my journey turn out for you? And what will you do for a week five encore? Hopefully we will win so much we will be sick of winning. Or someone with orange hair and a bad spray tan tells us.


So this is me at the end of my fourth week. Returning triumphant and defiant, or some such nonsense. Until next time.


David Elliott, Single Dad’s Guide to Life.


Fitness Friday Links:

Week 0 : Not Another Fitness Blog

First Week : Week One

Second Week : Two Down. 19 To Go.

Third Week : Forced Reboot