Hi! And welcome to the Single Dad’s Guide to Life. And welcome back to the fitness series we have here on Fridays at the Guide. I apologize the last couple of weeks I have been preoccupied finishing up a few other things before getting back to writing about fitness. Between finishing up the series I had been working with on perspectives, and beginning my Berry Blogging for Knott’s Berry Farm, I had become side tracked in other areas of life. And while those areas are good things, I have dedicated myself this year to making some progress in fitness. So I am resetting Fitness Fridays for Fathers 2018.
Needing To Refocus
I know I began this year with focusing on the ways I was going to get fit. I took a look at the how I was going to accomplish my goals this year. Whether it was counting calories or making sure I went out on hikes or made it to the gym, I tried to come up with methods for getting better. But sometimes when things aren’t working, or you aren’t accomplishing the goals the way you would like to, you need to take a step back and analyze why you are doing what you are doing.
Focused On The How
We start off the year focusing on the what but somehow we end up fixated on the how. While we start by saying we want to lose 20 pounds. So we get fixated on going to the gym and trying to eat fewer calories. Or if not fewer calories, healthier calories. Or we decide we are going to do something like writing a bunch this year. So we spend our time writing two hundred words or more every day.
Forgot The Why
But in two months we give up the dream. Why do we give up the dream? Going to the gym gets too painful just for twenty pounds. Or giving up that piece of chocolate cake is too high a price to pay to just lose two pant sizes. It just doesn’t seem worth it to you to do the things you would need to do to stay healthy. And why is this is the case? I suggest it is because you haven’t gone back to the real thing you are doing. You are doing doing this for something.
Yes, being healthy is good. And getting that twenty pounds off will drop you one pant size and possibly allow you to live a year or two more. But those things like nebulous years in the future do not excite us. I am reminded by a fellow blogger that in order to get to where I want to be I need to find “the sweet-spot between where you think you should be and the things you’re willing to do every day to maintain it.” And that ultimately comes from getting “quiet with yourself and figuring out where you draw your value from.”
We can come up with the what and hows all we want to. But it really comes down to knowing more about ourselves and what we want from life. Whatever my feelings about the gym may be, I can be knocked off of doing it when other things come around in my life which supplant my desire to go to the gym. I have spent a lot of time writing and enjoying myself writing. And I have been involved in different events, which I have enjoyed immensely. They easily supplanted wanting to go to the gym. And even though I would love those 20 pounds gone, I cannot tell myself I would love the gym more than a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm or spending time with my daughter.
Here Is My Reason Why
It really comes down to figuring out about what my own values are. What is my why? And of course, today I go back to thinking about what I want more than anything in the world. Aside from world peace, a stick of bubble gum and a trip to Australia, I want for my daughter to be the biggest success in the world. And I want to be able to be there for her. How can I be there for her if I am unwilling to take care of myself. I may love going to things, but if I want to be there for her in the long run, I will need to make the sacrifices I have to in order to do just that.
So this week, in order to reboot the whole fitness goals for the year, I wanted to sit back and remind myself of the how. I thought about my daughter graduating high school. I thought about watching her get her first job. And I thought about her getting married and seeing my own grandchildren. I want to be there for all of those moments, and I don’t want to be a shell of my former self when it happens. It’s this vision I will turn to while I stare at the set of barbells or the long trail on the hike ahead of me. And it can motivate me more than the slice of cheesecake staring at me from behind the glass window at Cheesecake Factory. (Darn that Cheesecake Factory!!!)
I could get fixated on my failures for the last two weeks and give myself a grade, but I feel like I have been harsh enough to myself this week. And I want to focus on the positive things moving forward. Doesn’t mean I don’t want accountability. It does mean worrying about what transpired before, I am hoping putting my why out there will help. I want to find the “sweet spot”. So to this endeavor, I now give you my goals for next week.
Goals For Next Week – Fitness Fridays For Fathers 2018
Make It To The Gym At Least 2 Times
- I know it’s not fun, but it needs to get done. I need to just go a couple of times at least to work on the weight lifting aspect. Yes cardio is important. But cardio can be done anywhere. Weight lifting . . . not so much. And I need to get started somehow. I am going to do it.
Plan 1 Hike A Week
- The crazy thing is I am a series of paradoxes. I simultaneously hate being alone, and love the beauty and aloneness you experience while hiking. So while I don’t like the idea of going out by myself, I love the serenity that the hiking provides. I just need to find someone who is good with alone together.
Change My Lunch Habits At Work
- I have a tendency to eat out at work. While I am not opposed to restaurants, it means being lazy and sometimes it means I am lazy with my calorie counting. And I need to work this out somehow. So I am going to try to bring food at least 3 days a week to work.
Encourage My Daughter To Do One Athletic Thing Every Time I Have Her
- Far too often I have used my daughter as an excuse why I didn’t get the exercising done. No, I cannot take her to a gym yet. Still a couple of years away. But I think starting now and exercising with her in some form or fashion will help. It’s important to set the right tone in order for both of us to get the help we need.
Rearrange Bedroom Furniture
- I have a Wii Fit I intend on using. I have used it in the past to lose weight. And I know I can use it in the future. Sure I have a time crunch trying to go to the gym. Trying to accomplish so much blogging and marketing, I put off getting away. But having a tool right at my disposal should lessen that. I need the exercise and energy, and having something I can do at home should help.
Increase My Water Intake
- I really know I need to drink more water. I put it off, or think it doesn’t taste good. But I know when I go to the gym, it’s all I crave. So I know it’s so important in order to get healthy. This week I just want to make sure I am water conscious. So make sure I get through at least a bottle or two daily and then raise consumption later.
Get More Sleep
- I could get fixated about the amount of sleep I get. I know I could use more. But in truth, its about quality of sleep as much as it is quantity. I just need to remember this truth. Nevertheless, more of it, even if not perfect does help my body to recharge and do the kind of thinking which writing requires.
Connect With Other Bloggers On A Fitness Journey
- I am doing a lot of writing now. No Doubt. And I really do love it. One of the greatest opportunities of blogging is connecting to all of the amazing people out there. There are many who do fitness work. And I don’t use them as the kind of resource which would help. Whether it’s picking their brain about scheduling or working on finding ways to create a better balance in my life, I need to talk to these people. I want to spend a little time this week getting to know other fitness bloggers.
I really think this is enough for now. It’s a start anyway, and hopefully I will not be overwhelmed by it just yet. One extra addendum I want is to set a plan for myself. Maybe I will talk about it next week. I did it when I lost a bunch of weight about 5 years ago. Getting this plan in gear I will show and talk about soon. It worked before. I know it can work again. In the meantime, these are my future goals for the next week. And I will leave me with an incomplete for the last two weeks as I have been busy.
Continue The Conversation
So what do you do when you start out the new year? What goals do you set for yourself? And what are your reasons for accomplishing those goals? Do you always fail? Or are you like a friend of mine who succeeded at playing the Prince song 1999 every day throughout the whole year of 1999? Sounds crazy, but he did it. And more power to him. I would love to know your thoughts about goal setting. And if you have fitness goals, what are they? What helps you to overcome the winter doldrums and accomplish your new years resolutions in fitness or in life? I would love to hear from you.
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Until next time, this is me signing off.
David Elliott, Single Dad’s Guide to Life